Back when televisions only had a few channels, mine would be tuned in religiously to Saturday morning wrestling. The 80’s were a true Golden Age of professional wrestling in the, then WWF: Rowdy Roddy Piper, Iron Sheik, George “The Animal” Steel, The Mouth of the South, Nicolai Volkoff, Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat, Super Fly Jimmy Snuka, Andre The Giant and of course the Hulkster himself, Hulk Hogan.
During every battle that the Hulkster was in, there would be a time when his opponent would put a few good shots together and put the champ on his back. Hulk would then take stomp after stomp from this prone position, and the crowd would stir nervously. Then, miraculously, and to the cheers of my little brother and I…a dazed Hulkster would
battle back slowly. First, he’d take an unblocked shot to the jaw that would have no effect, and just stare down his opponent while sitting on the mat, shaking his head and wagging his finger. Now, rising to one knee, Hogan would take another epic blast to the chops, that would have leveled an ordinary man. The crippling blow would register zero effect…just another piercing glare from the Hulkster.
Now on both feet, and in a headlock, Hogan would start stomping around the ring, dragging his opponent around and pumping his arms, channeling the very power of every screaming Hulkamaniac in the arena, as well as that of a couple kids going crazy on a living room carpet in Los Altos. The Hulkster would now dramatically break the hold, Hulkamania would run wild and our young villain would go for one last, futile haymaker. That blow would always be expertly blocked by Hogan and followed by a BOOM! COUNTERPUNCH BY THE HULKSTER! After that, it was only a matter of time before the Big Boot was flush on our poor nameless victim’s grill, followed shortly by the patented Big Leg Drop which would finally put the young buck out of his misery.
1…2…3…pin. Thanks for coming.
The Los Angeles Kings thought that they had the San Jose Sharks number last night, thought that it was time to take their rightful place as the class of the Division. They smugly strolled into HP Pavilion last night ready to knock off the “lost-a-step” Sharks, they wore garish purple and they flexed to the booing crowd. Problem for them was the San Jose Sharks had been sayin’ their prayers and eatin’ their vitamins and in the end, Sharkamania just ran wild on them.
If the Los Angeles Kings thought that a few wins in a row was going to keep the Sharks on the canvas, and allow them to vanquish the actual kings of the Pacific Division, they truly received their wake up call last night.
A physical hockey game played fairly tight until the latter part of the first period, when Scott Parse beat Antero Niittymaki with a backhander. The scripted heel had registered the first blow, but the Sharks would now respond three unanswered times.
Beginning with the FF3 line, San Jose answered that shot to the mouth with a nice snapper from Ryane Clowe which tied it up. Then, about a minute later, Torrey “Pines” Mitchell got involved with a backhander of his own, putting the Sharks up 2-1 at the close of the first period.
Halfway through the second period, Scott Nichol beat Kings’ goalie, Jonathan “Steve” Bernier with a terrific twist-and-fire to put the Sharks up 3-1 and the champ had shown the upstart that they weren’t quite ready to ride off into the sunset.
Then, it got a little weird when King Mullet himself, Ryan Smyth, put a bouncer past Niittymaki for a goal that the refs missed. It was clearly a good goal, but the only one that knew that for certain for a while, was Ryan Smyth. As the Smyth goal was being reviewed, play continued and “Pines” got loose for a sweet breakaway that put the Sharks up 4-1.
Except, he actually didn’t score. Well, at least with a goal that counted…though he did celebrate with aplomb.
At the stoppage caused by Mitchell’s apparent second goal, it was officially revealed to a grumpy Shark Tank that Smyth had indeed scored about 70 seconds previous, and that what you just witnessed from Torrey Mitchell was a figment of your imagination. Put their goal on the board, take ours off and wind the clock back.
Tough swing, and a 4-1 lead for the Sharks morphed in a blink of an eye to a 3-2 one…and the Kings upstarts now smelled a tie ballgame.
The champ had different ideas. Patrick Marleau put the Sharks back up by two goals with a nice wrist shot on the power play towards the beginning of the third period. Though, the Kings would answer later in that period with a sweet tip in by Jarret Stoll to bring them again within one, the Hulkster was officially off the canvas and glaring.
The Big Boot would come thirty seconds later, in the form of a Dany Heatley wrister from about a mile away. The Shark Tank was now in frenzy, and anticipating the finishing move. It would come on the power play in the form of a perfect Big Leg Drop delivered by the Big Pavelski, and any hope of grabbing the belt from the champs by the Kings had been erased.
We’re still here, still the best and until you beat the best…you’re just another one of the rest…brotherrr.
WHATCHU GONNA DO WHEN SHARKAMANIA RUNS WIIIIIILD ON YOU!!!
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Tags: Andre The Giant Antero Niittymaki Dany Heatley Devin Setoguchi HP Pavilion Hulk Hogan Jarret Stoll Jason Demers Joe Pavelski Joe Thornton Logan Couture Los Angeles Kings NHL Patrick Marleau Rowdy Roddy Piper Ryan Smyth Ryane Clowe San Jose Sharks Scott Nichol Scott Parse Todd Mclellan Torrey Mitchell WWE WWF