Pavelski Better at Hockey Than Most Canadians


Perhaps it’s the amount of time throughout his life that San Jose Sharks forward Joe Pavelski has spent around actual Canadians, but the exposure seems to be paying dividends.

Not only does Pavelski seem to be getting exceedingly good at ice hockey, but with his success at the NHL level, Pavs has managed to surpass millions of average Canadians in his mastery of their National Game.

In your face Canada.

According to the most recent World Bank numbers, the great hockey cradle of Canada had approximately 34 million inhabitants, all of whom play excessive amounts of hockey from the time they can first crawl out on the tundra.

Now, out of this country known as “Hockey’s Birthplace”, only an infinitesimal amount of the hockey mad population (around 520 guys at last count) ever actually make it to the highest echelon of the sport, the National Hockey League.

Shockingly, even at the highest level, there are actual native-born Canadian NHL players that can’t measure up to the “Wisconsin Mauler”—some of whom (to remain nameless) are on his own team.

And! Even out of the 520 so-called “best” and “most talented” NHL players that Canada offers to the world as the culturally authentic epitome of elite hockey, Joe Pavelski has managed more points (17G 41A) this season than 498 of them!


So to recap, the Wisconsin born center has so far accomplished to quite literally be better at hockey than the majority of a 33 million plus populated country that invented it, and even when said country tries to flex its history and God-given skill against the plucky Badger by pitting him against the best they can muster, Pavs still manages to outscore Canada’s elite players at over a 95% clip.

The best hockey country sends its best players to the best ice hockey league in the world…and Joe Pavelski winds up better than the vast majority of them.  And don’t get me started that Pavs happens to be the 4th best American born hockey player coming out of a population that exceeds over 307 million either.

Putting this in a larger context, by virtue of the fact that Pavs could school on the rink (with little or no practice or notice even) any one of millions upon millions of Canadians at their own game, Joe Pavelski might be better at his job than anyone on the face of the Earth.

He is quite simply the Faberge Egg of the NHL and the rarest of birds.

That said, one of the few Canadians who happens to be better statistically at ice hockey than Joe Pavelski is the Captain of none other than the team the Sharks will face tonight—Jerome Iginla and the Calgary Flames.

Yes, Iggy coming and Iggy mad.

After a late season revival that any San Jose Sharks fan can relate to, the Calgary Flames have managed only one win in their last six contests as they scratch and claw to barely stay in the hotly contested Western Conference playoff picture.  At currently 85 points, the Flames find themselves tied with Anaheim and Dallas for the final playoff spot…while time quickly ticks away on their chances for bonus hockey.

For the Sharks, at only nine games to go in the regular season tonight’s game will be their last out-of-division tilt before settling in for what should be a season-ending, Pacific Division blood feud against L.A.(twice), Phoenix (thrice), Dallas (once) and Anaheim (twice).

Getting past a very motivated and focused Flames team tonight will be key, before San Jose can decide their own fate and playoff seeding over their final eight games.  Fear not though, if Pavs can take on and best an entire country, one ticked off Canadian humanitarian (seriously, look Iginla up…it’s movie material) is nothing to be worried about…even if he might be one of the few Canadians who can go toe-to-toe with the “Great Badger Menace”.

I’m really trying on the nickname…I do like Pavs, but I’m really trying to elevate Joe Pavelski into America’s National Lore in recognition of his accomplishments, and frankly Pavs ain’t going to cut it.

I have tried Mount Pavelski, Wisconsin Mauler, Great Badger Menace, The Plover Rover, The Wisco Kid but nothing quite feels right yet.

Please make suggestions…


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