Couture to Turn Calder Into Hookah


First off, you will not find a bigger Logan Couture fan than me, period.

The kid has crashed the scene with absolutely gaudy numbers (31 G, 23 A, +19, 9 PPG, 8 GWG), and if the San Jose Sharks had a Hart Memorial Trophy of their own to bestow upon Couture as the team MVP, you’d get no argument from me.

You can also point to whole stretches of games this season where if not for Couture playing like a 10-year seasoned All-Star, the San Jose Sharks would have been goners.

So, the fact that he deserves the Calder Trophy as the NHL’s best rookie is not even a discussion. I mean, it’s not even close versus the competition—J. Skinner (‘Canes), M. Grabner (NYI)—when you look at the minutes Logan logs, his standing as a bone fide leader to his team, and amount of times clutch follows him around on the ice.

Honestly, just based on the 8 game winning goals alone, he should be awarded the Calder, as no other statistic demonstrates more completely in microcosm, what this guy has meant for the Sharks this season.

But this…this is not acceptable Logan.

At some point we all need to just put our collective foot down to these professional athletes, and say, without equivocation, that although we are a tolerant society, you will not be allowed to desecrate the very history of our game—not on our watch Couture!

Sure, it’s hard to get through to the modern athlete whose world is a dizzying collection of cameras, money, women, booze and slick cars…which belies the more typical modest existence of you or I.  But getting through this haze of privilege to make a stand we must—yes, it is daunting, but we must remain vigilant and remember that nothing in life worth fighting for comes easy.

If instead, we turn a blind eye and give in to every half-witted whim of these misguided youth, we will not only lose a precious bit of hockey’s history, but part of our own self-respect along with it.

Join me in standing up to this affront.

Logan, the Calder Trophy is an institution, and belongs on a shelf in your mansion displayed with class and prominence.  It is to be admired and respected, and exist as a constant reminder of all the hard work you have put in to becoming one bad-a** mother******.

You deserve it more than anybody else this year…so respect it and yourself when your name is called this June…

Don’t just pack it with fruity tobacco so it can be used as some tired prop punchline to that nameless lingerie model you end up rapping to at the sycophant-infused Palms after party.

Want to know why?

Because Torrey Mitchell would do that kind of thing man…Mitchell.



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